Audrius Razma Romeo van de Nacht!
Meneer Audrius Razma Romeo van de Nacht!
by Miss Myrta Frank
I never set out to be anyone's Romeo. But somewhere between the subliminal soundtracks I made for Dutch nightclubs and the street games I won in Antwerp, I became one anyway — the Dark Prince of Luxembourg, they called me. Not because I asked for it. Because I lost something first.
I lost my adult movie contract. I lost the girl on the street corner who carried my child. And in that losing, I found something else: the freedom to stop performing and start being. I lifted my black ear pieces like a Caesar's wig and announced to Luxembourg, Spain, the Netherlands and Belgium that I was no longer asking permission. I was claiming my own crown.
That night, walking through an Antwerp night shop, a worker confirmed it. "Saba. Saba." Then, louder: "Hey, sick son of a bitch at the kassa — you do not know the Prince of Luxembourg is buying his beer!" We bought the same Cara Pilsner. Him and me. The prince and the worker. Same beer, same city, same night.
What makes a Romeo? Not the poetry. Not the balcony. It's the waiting. I am married to my French-Thai wife, kissing her nipples, holding her close — while I wait for my Belgian-German and Dutch girl to come back from prison, so we can have the baby my wife will hold in her loving arms. Two women, one heart, a love that doesn't fit any template.
Shakespeare's Romeo was a boy who fell fast and fell hard. But the real Romeo? He's the one who keeps falling — and keeps getting back up. He's the one who turns loss into soundtrack, pain into airplay, waiting into art. I made a subliminal club instrumental for DJs to mix, a sound that creates freedom in the night to find love. Because that's what we're all searching for, isn't it? A frequency that lets us be seen.
I am a Netherlands Adult Movie Actor with sponsors de Hunkemöller, ICIPARISXL and H&M. But none of that matters as much as this: I am still here. Still waiting. Still loving.
Dit is goed. This is good. Not because I won. Because I kept playing.
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